UPDATE on Michelle Obama's Butt: Gov. Chris Christie's Butt...

Brief Bio
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OKaaaaay. Yesterday, I wrote a piece about “Michelle Obama’s Butt…” This morning, I was just sitting here, watching the news and enjoying my oatmeal when the issue of Gov. Christie’s (NJ) weight resurfaced. “Oh, no!” I said, as I discarded my breakfast and made a mad dash to the computer lounge. “Everyone in the world who is committed to this fictitious, fallacious, eff’d up failure of a campaign for a supposedly ‘post-racial’ society will be pointing their fingers and saying, Ya’ see? We’re talking about Gov. Christie’s big, fat, butt, too, and he’s ‘Whaa-aiite.’” (Sorry. Actually, no, I’m not…). So, now, let me point out a few f-a-c-t-s:

1. Yes, “they’ve” talked about Gov. Christie’s weight all along (probably about half the time), but Gov. Christie, unlike First Lady Michelle Obama, has a f-a-t butt, as opposed to a firm one, and his butt is not the only thing that’s fat… He’s got several chins, a huge belly, and wheezes when he walks. He’s a candidate for high cholesterol, heart disease, diabetes, sleep apnea, and accidentally crushing Mrs. Christy to death (if ya’ know what I mean…). Michelle Obama, conversely, is all muscle; she exercises; and let’s face it, “booty” and beauty, whether black women like it or not, have always been associated with the black aesthetic. The whole “boyish ass with huge ‘knockers’” thing is a different ‘standard’ of beauty. It’s time we  all  come to understand that the “Caucasian” standard of beauty, the one that dominated the media and the lives of Blacks, Asians, Native Americans, Native Hawaiians, Hispanics, Latino(a)s, etc., for so many years, is  not  the only standard of beauty…
2. There was a time when it was generally assumed that only black people could dance, had rhythm, etc. Obviously, that’s not true. I, myself, began to wonder about  that  “theory” the year that Teena Marie (1981) came out with the song “Square Biz“… In fact, I love everything that women ever sang! And if you’ve watched more recent emanations of ‘proof,’ the show, So You Think You Can Dance, is further ‘documentation’ of the fiction of ”black-only” rhythm, and though I have really never understood the fascination with Justin Timberlake, I was so taken with his Saturday Night Live “Dick In A Box” (What a pleasant surprise!), that I gave him a… second look. The little chipmunk’s got  soul! Well, folks, even White women can have butts — and they don’t always have to buy them, either…
3. We’ve been talking about Gov. Christy, like a “dog,” for so long because “the obese” are the “new Negro.” We’ve absolutely  got  to wipe them off the face of the earth, right? But then, in a recent interview with David Letterman (in which Gov. Christie suddenly scarfs down a doughnut while David is interviewing him), we learned that Gov. Christie’s blood pressure and cholesterol are… within normal ranges… I must admit, I find intelligence and a sense of humor extremely… sexy… And then there’s the fact that actresses, like Melissa McCarthy of the show, Mike and Molly  feel perfectly fine, and have become, for some, a new kind of sex symbol. Despite the fixation with these white people’s “fat,” and perhaps their being defined by it, they are still not daily reduced to their elemental fat cells in the same way as is Michelle Obama. I’m seriously beginning to doubt that Michelle Obama has many fat cells — and I’m also quite irritated by these ignoramuses and their need to capitalize on the few fat cells she  does  have, while completely ignoring the awesome development of her brain cells… But what would  they  know about that?  Earth to Stupid White Men, Michelle Obama is not fat, or unhealthy — in fact, she’s got more muscle in her one bicep than you do, anywhere…
4. Another consideration, here, is that we could all understand a negative, derisive reaction if Gov. Christie or Melissa McCarthy were running around telling people they should lose weight and exercise, when obviously, they either are not doing the same, or not doing so very successfully (though I understand that Gov. Christy has recently dropped some 50 pounds). Michelle Obama, conversely, is not only advocating exercise and healthy diet, she’s modeling them. And to look at her in her shorts, her evening gowns, and anything else she wears, Mrs. Obama is the epitome of a “hard body.” So, Rush Limbaugh, Jim Sensenbrenner, and as of lately, coach and “psychology teacher (LOL)” Bob Grisham, kindly look in the mirror, then Shut The Hell Up!

I still maintain, as I did yesterday, that this reeks, smacks, and stinks of the Hottentot Venus ‘syndrome.’ And yes, I do belief that “race” is a factor. It says a great deal about us as a country when our government officials and “psychology teachers” are more outspoken and articulate regarding the existence of our First Lady’s butt than they ever were about the non-existence of the brain of a former American president (I delicately decline to mention his name, but his best friend was Tony Blair… ). So, please. Spare me.

Ahhhhhh….. Now, I can finish my breakfast…

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UPDATE on Michelle Obama’s Butt: Gov. Chris Christie’s Butt… by Vivien E. Zazzau is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://darkactsbible.wordpress.com.